The Allure of the Wilderness – Not What It Seems

The reality that I am here in my wilderness season for an extended period of time is inescapable.  It is a fact.  I will not be leaving until God leads me out.  So it struck me that it might be a good idea to study just exactly what this word, lifted from Hosea 2:14, really means.

Looking to glean any bit of insight, wisdom (or a faster way out!) I started with an on-line search. Using Strong’s Bible Concordance I typed in word “wilderness” and was fascinated by what I found.

Though there were several Hebrew words translated as wilderness, the one identified in Hosea 2:14 is H4057 (H as in the Hebrew use and meaning instead of the later Greek translation).  The primary meaning is given as; a)pasture, b)uninhabited land, wilderness, c)large tracts of wilderness (around cities), d)wilderness (fig).  However it also included a secondary meaning as that of the mouth – as an organ of speech. 

Reading through the information on H4057 clearly showed that this particular word for wilderness should not be thought of as a barren place, but rather as a pasture fit for feeding flocks.  It also comes from the root word in the Hebrew shown as H1696, a verb which means to speak, declare, converse, command, promise, warn, threaten, sing, to lead away or put to flight. 

I appreciated the idea that my present location was to be thought of as a pasture, ripe for being fed in – not a place of barren nothingness.  This made me think of Psalm 23 that talks about God being our Shepherd and all the ways He cares for us as His sheep. Perhaps a journey into the wilderness is meant to be a place where we are tenderly guided to rest, to drink refreshing water, to have our souls restored and to be led in paths of righteousness. 

However discovering that the root word for wilderness was taken from one for mouth caught me by surprise. But how perfectly these two concepts of pasture and being spoken to marry with the text in which wilderness is being used in here in Hosea 2:14.  It also reveals God’s true heart toward His chosen nation of Israel even though they continued to take from His hand while turning their backs on Him. Even worse, they credited their false gods with the provisions given by the one true God.

These were His chosen people whom He dearly loved, had rescued from a life of slavery and had taken care of for decades.  Though they appear not to care for God at all, His heart still longs for intimacy in spite of their adultery against His Husbandry.  Not only did He want to restore relationship with this lost and broken nation, He wanted to heal and bless her.  So He leads her away from the noise in hopes of doing just that.

His entire purpose for alluring her to the wilderness was to “speak tenderly and to her heart”. But by divine wisdom His words would only be spoken in the intimate privacy found outside the city limits. 

I know beyond all doubt that at least part of the reason why God has allured me into the wilderness has to do with healing my heart from some long standing hurts.  It has taken an extended “quiet” time away from all the distractions in order for these wounds to surface long enough to be examined, discussed, cried over …. And miraculously, even healed.  Out here, He has fed me by hand and spoken some very sweet, tender words of hope and encouragement.

What I am discovering out here is a deeper grounding in His love. I’m learning to make Him my security and finding how secure that makes me feel inside regardless of circumstances.  Fear and anxiety no longer linger in the back of my mind the way they once did.  There is a growing sense of wholeness and I’ve never experienced that before. Could it be that what I have been viewing as a negative place to be is actually a profoundly wonderful place to be?

But if so many wonderful outcomes result from following God out into the wilderness when He beckons – or when we awaken to find ourselves there; then why don’t we talk more about these seasons?   Reading through the Bible shows this concept so clearly.  From the life of Moses, Abraham, Jacob, John the Baptist and even Jesus Himself along with many, many others who have spent time in the wilderness.  Why does it catch me off guard that the God Who loves me has, for a season, dried up the flow of blessing that comes from my relationships with human beings, things and even experiences?  If I had realized from the start that it was so He could talk to me more deeply just maybe I would have run into the wilderness! 

What about you – have you too experienced this type of a dry season?  How did you interpret it and what has been the outcome?  I would love to hear about it. 

The Allure of the Wilderness - a Season of Maturing Endurance

John 14:13
And I will do [I Myself will grant] whatever you ask in My Name [as presenting all that I AM], so that the Father may be glorified and extolled in (through) the Son.

I have asked, and I have been active in my work of believing God to answer my prayer (though we have had a few conversations on the subject of belief).  I have checked that my request is in keeping with His will; that it is appropriate.  I have worked hard at being obedient (still need some work here but can say that it is the longest consistent run at obedience I have ever had – I really want this prayer answered), and still I wait.

He has not said no to my request, and sometimes He encourages me to believe Him hard for my yes.  Yet the answer has not materialized.  I find a way to loose myself in the activity of life and forget only to have an experience that wicks it all back up again.  Once more what was nearly forgotten is stirred up again with the most intense desire.  Why?

On one hand it seems cruel – even Proverbs says that hope deferred makes the heart sick (13:12).  What do we do with the things we long for and though we have asked repeatedly (Matthew 7:8) and fight the fight of faith (Hebrews 11:1 and 6); and still we wait for the answer?

                                                      

Endurance – turns out to be another reason for an extended wilderness stay. It is a deeper purification, and a more intense sifting of the heart.    

James 1:2-4

²Consider it wholly joyful, my brethren, whenever you are enveloped in or encounter trials of any sort or fall into various temptations.

    ³Be assured and understand that the trial and proving of your faith bring out endurance and steadfastness and patience.

    ⁴But let endurance and steadfastness and patience have full play and do a thorough work, so that you may be [people] perfectly and fully developed [with no defects], lacking in nothing.

Could I live without my request?  Eighteen months ago I would have said no.  But these days I know I can - - as long as I don’t have to live with the desire for what I long for.  I can say like the Apostle Paul, I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation….I can do all things through Christ Who strengthens me (Philippians 4:11-13). 

I have experience now with taking my needs to God and receiving His grace.  Sometimes He provides a tangible gift such as an invitation from my girlfriends for a night of fun. Sometimes it is an amazing evening of dancing which I love and has been one of His sweetest gifts to me.  It has brought so much healing and joy that I have to be careful not to let it eclipse my love for Him.  Sometimes He just gives me an extra sense of His Presence which provides a fullness that satisfies me completely but never permanently. 

He knows that I could go on living life day by day in His company and that alone would satisfy the desire for my request.  Yet I know with full certainty that He is the One that brings it back to the surface time after time.  Why?

I think there are several reasons, most notably that when we work for something we are partners with God.  Many times it seems that when we pray for something, then in turn He asks us for an investment before we get the payoff of answered prayer.  It can be so easy to have a fickle heart and not appreciate the gifts God gives if we haven’t had to work for them. 

Could it be that my prayer request is much like a five-year old asking for a fiery, red Ferrari?  God doesn’t say no – He says how badly do you want it?  Enough to save for it denying other lesser ways to spend hard earned money?  Enough to learn to drive with the skill needed to handle such a powerful piece of machinery?  Enough to prove to Me you will take care of something so valuable by caring for lesser things as though they too were as costly as the car? 

As God speaks to me over the Ferrari analogy, I realize that what I have asked Him for will require much of me in order to be able to enjoy the gift I seek.  My maturity level will be put to the test.  So will the ability to keep my priorities in order and live with integrity and faithfulness.  And so the gift I seek requires me to pass rigorous testing; to patiently endure this wilderness season and still manifest the fruit of His Spirit within me.

With each test I have learned volumes.  Some tests I have passed, some I have failed at miserably, but in each one I have experienced God’s love for me in deeper and deeper ways.  Failures teach me that He loves me unconditionally, knows me intimately, and accepts me for who I am while continuing the work of molding me into His image.  Each success gives me encouragement to continue our partnership for the times when I would like to quit and walk away. 

Overall though, the failures have meant more to me than the successes.  I know that He prearranged each test to show me what He already sees. Each time I sin, failing my test I am forced to acknowledge things that need to be dealt with.  Then I am far more open to working with God to bring help and healing.  Then as the tests come up again and again my responses improve.  I marvel that He knows all my stuff, both the good and ugly and is not the least bit surprised when I act badly.  In fact – He is the One pushing the envelope to force the issue out in the open so we can partner together to get it taken care of.

So I can on some level concur with the half brother of Jesus, the Apostle James in counting it all joy when trials and temptations come my way.  There are multiple categories to put the tally marks of life into, and choosing to put trials under the heading of joy is truly a way of paying it forward.